Book a Family Mediation Consultation

We chose to describe it this way because the word "booking" can suggest something more settled than a first telephone call really is. When you ring, you are opening a conversation. You can ask what mediation involves, describe in general terms what has been happening, and find out what the next step could be. You are not signing up for a course of sessions, and you are not committing another person to anything.

Think of the call as having three parts, although real conversations are rarely so tidy. First, you explain why you are ringing, in as much or as little detail as feels right. Next, you hear how the service could work for a situation like yours, and you ask your questions. Finally, you find out what could happen next and decide whether you want it to. That may be arranging a first meeting, taking time to think, or concluding that a different kind of help is needed.

If an appointment is arranged, make sure you are clear on the details before the call ends. Note the date, the format, what it is for, what you need to bring and what it will cost. If something has not been stated, it is reasonable to ask for it to be repeated. A clear understanding at this point saves confusion later on, especially when so much else may be going on.

A shared home, a family phone plan or a tablet that syncs to another device can all reveal more than you intend. If that is a concern, consider ringing from somewhere else, such as a friend's house or a private spot during a break at work. Call logs and itemised bills can also show a number you have rung. If you have any worries about being monitored, a specialist support service can talk you through safer ways of seeking help.

You can tell us at the outset that you need to keep the conversation short, or that you would prefer not to go into detail. It is enough to say, "I need to ask about suitability privately before anything is suggested to the other person." You do not need to give a full account in order to be taken seriously, and you should not feel you have to continue a call that has stopped feeling safe.

A telephone enquiry is not an emergency service. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, contact the emergency services. If there is an urgent concern about a child's safety, or you need protection from another person, do not wait for a mediation appointment. Legal advice and specialist support may be available much sooner, and those routes take priority over anything we have described on this page.

In England and Wales, a person wishing to apply to the family court about children or finances will often have to go to a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting beforehand, subject to certain exemptions. A MIAM is usually a private meeting in which a mediator explains how mediation works, considers whether it is suitable and discusses other options. Attending does not oblige you to go on to mediate, and it does not mean the other person has agreed to anything.

If you need paperwork connected with a court application, say so plainly and ask what can be provided and when. The rules on who must attend, who is exempt and what the court expects depend on your circumstances and may change. Exemptions can apply in certain situations, including some involving abuse or urgency, but we cannot tell you on an enquiry call whether one applies to you. A solicitor can advise you on that.

Please do not treat a call to us as stopping any clock. Ringing a mediation service does not extend a court deadline, pause a limitation period or stand in for a response you have been asked to make. If you have received court papers or a letter from a solicitor, take legal advice on it promptly, even if you are also considering mediation.

Ask for the charges to be set out clearly before you agree to anything: what the first meeting costs, how later sessions are charged, whether preparing documents is included and how the cost is divided if two people take part. If you are asked to pay for anything, you should understand exactly what for. It is also fair to ask for confirmation in a form you can keep.

The likely total depends on factors nobody can fully know at the outset, including how many topics are on the table, how complicated the finances are and how much time each of you needs. A person who gives you a firm overall figure on a first call may be guessing. A more useful question is what would make the cost go up or down, and what you could do to keep it under control.

Help with costs may be available to some people in some circumstances, for example through legal aid where someone qualifies. Do ask about this if it matters to you, and check that what you are told applies to you. Eligibility rules vary and can change, so we would not want a general statement on a website to stand in for an answer about your own position.

Being invited to mediation does not mean that you have done something wrong, or that anyone has already taken a side. The person who rang first has no special status in the process, and they do not get to set the agenda alone. You can have your own private conversation before you decide whether to take part, and you can bring your own concerns to it, including concerns about whether mediation is a good idea at all.

It is sensible to find out what is being proposed, and whether anything is time-limited. In particular, if you have been told that court proceedings may follow, it is wise to take legal advice about your position instead of simply ignoring the invitation. Mediation is voluntary, but a decision not to engage can sometimes have consequences that you would want to understand beforehand.

You might also be worried that the mediator has already heard one version of events. It is a fair worry to raise. Ask how contact with each person is handled, and what the mediator has been told. You are also free to explain that you need more time, that you do not feel safe taking part jointly, or that you would like to hear about other formats.